I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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