i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
