Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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