No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
