Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
