No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
