He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
