just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
