you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
