Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You were trust falling into bushes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
