You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
