Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
