i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
