"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize