My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
