it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
