Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
