so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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