We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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