it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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