I wish I could teleport
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
