After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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