It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He better not be in your backpack
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
