So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
