There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
