My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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