im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize