drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
