I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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