Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
