Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize