I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
