Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
