2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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