Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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