My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
