What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
