where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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