i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
