You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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