how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think your dad took our porno
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
