I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
