I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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