dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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