that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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