I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize