Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
