I want to walk on stilts...naked
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
