I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
