I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
