Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize