Define "chronic" masturbator.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize