69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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