I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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