Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
