You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
