kristin has been a bad kristin
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
