was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
