What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
