kristin has been a bad kristin
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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