I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
