Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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