nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
