Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
