once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
