you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize