Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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