Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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