some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
